Man Up!

So after all the "I Love You's" and "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you", Mr. Blind Date, has some "things" to deal with. What are these "things" you ask? Work, financial, past issues. All B.S. If you ask me. Aren't you suppose to lean on the ones you love during difficult times? I thought so. Guess it's just too much for him to deal with. Well, good because last time I checked I was only interested in men not little boys. And men who I can strut my stuff in 4-5 inch stillettos. So there!!!!!
Next!
XoXo

Well that was FUN

Vegas trip was very uneventful. That is not the word I prefer to use when recalling my Vegas weekend. I like words like "bananas" and "out of control" and maybe even "fun". Oh alright, I'm being my normal braty self. Vegas was alright. I guess when your boyfriends sister marries a guy old enough to be her father you can't expect too much excitement. Again, very braty of me and so rude. We layed by the pool, had some cocktails. Gambled a bit. And the highlight was the Flamingo showgirls shakin their little booties topless. Thrilling. Not a single chick even had boobs to shake so it really was rather boring. But now I can say "I have been to a real Vegas show". Whoopeeee!!!!
But I do like Mr. Blind Date. Atleast for right now. The little quirks that we all have, well, his are startin to bug. Back to the I don't know/maybe/maybe not the one, questions in my head.
Chat later.

Skeptical

So my blind date when well. I'm not gonna lie, he is a bit short for me and my 4-5 inch heels. But overall, seems nice. We have gone out to dinner a few times and hung out. I'm definitely moving slow with this one. He is very outspoken with his, what I like to call, 'infatuation' with me. Always complementing and opening the door for very much a gentlemen. Even sent me flowers already. He's asking me to go away with him and his family, mom included, for a Palm Springs weekend. Seems a bit too soon for all that. But I guess they have had this planned for sometime. Maybe, I'm nor sure yet. Haven't decided if he's the one yet or not. Always thought the 'ONE' would be so obvious to recognize that all my 'maybe's' and 'I don't knows' would totally disappear.

XoXo
P.S. I need to come up with a code name for this guy. Any ideas?

Blind Date

I have agreed to go on a blind date. A friend from the hospital is setting me up with her boyfriends friend. What have I got to lose? My biggest issue is that he is a Cop. Is that the wrong word to use? How about Police Officer? Whatever, my experience with them has been none! Just hear that they are all arrogant and cheaters. But who am I to stereotype. So we will see.
I will keep you posted.

When Life Asks You Questions & But You Don't Know The Answers

Just when you think you have it together emotionally, something or someone makes you think again. I recently have reconnected with many of my high school friends. Mind you, that its been 20 years since I graduated. I dated the same person all through high school and never even thought about another boy. But the one that has recently captured my attention is a guy who was just nice and sweet. He dated some of the girls I hung out with. Never thought he was attracted to me. Maybe because I was so naive at that time. So for confidential reasons we will call him Mr. BHS (B High School)...
For starters Mr. BHS is way hotter now than 20 years ago. His body is rockin. You could do all your laundry on his washboard abs. His ass. OMG ! But besides the physical aspect (hard to not think about), he is still a nice, sweet guy. We get along. He has a son. He's a great parent. He's very verbal with his feelings about me. Which is a change for me considering Mr.7 doesn't tell me what his inner most thoughts are or about us. Is there an "us".? That's one of my questions that I don't have the answers for. Its been 6 months and we don't talk about the future. We don't have a commitment. We don't have plans. I don't know what he wants with me or from me. I feel like I'm just floating. Caught in midair. Not sure to go up or down. Now jumps in Mr. BHS. He has my attention in a big, big way. We haven't kissed or done anything at all. Just talked. Our kids met and we played video games. That's it. We talk about "what ifs" and "maybes". He knows about Mr.7 kinda, and doesn't ask too much. I think I might be in a pickle. I will keep you posted on my Mr., Mr. issues.
XOXO,
Cupcake

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

~"Far Away" by Nickleback

Wanting It ALL !

I have to ask, Whats wrong with wanting it all ? Before you answer stop and think about it for a second.... For me, Having my 2 girls and a man who absolutely, adores me all wrapped up in a cute little box (blue, of course) would be the world for me. Hard to believe that's all I want when we live in such a materialistic world. But because we are dealing with hearts and souls, something that money cannot buy, it would be priceless.
My issue is that just when I think I'm on the path to having it all, the little voice inside my head tries so hard to get me to think that it could not possibly be. My relationship with "Mr.7" is moving right along. I feel like we are getting emotionally closer and he is opening up to me more all the time. He really is a great guy and even if it doesn't last forever, he has brought a new perspective to my life and I truly believe that I have grown as a person from knowing him. But nonetheless, I wouldn't mind if he absolutely adored me.... you never know. Open your heart. Open your mind. You might be surprised at what you get and it may be more than you ever thought you needed.

Mommy Can't No Satisfaction

This whole being a single mom and trying to date and have a somewhat normal relationship with the male species has got to be one of the most difficult stunts to pull off. You have to spend "quality" time with your kids that's a given. Your man requires intimacy and time spent with you as well. It starts to become a conflict of schedules when your trying to accomplish everything and still maintain your sanity. Then something else comes into play, for me anyway. I've started to want more from Mr.7. physically (I think you know what I mean). That every other weekend and maybe once or twice during the week just isn't cutting it. Call me crazy, but I have no problem being a "booty-call" once in awhile. I know we care about each other, so I don't think of it in a bad way. I mean how many wife's do you know that give a "courtesy --" to their husbands once in awhile. I know way to many and the ones who don't surely arn't playing their cards right. I'm really struggling with this overwhelming desires to be with him more often. I'm contemplating excuses to get out of the house and take a hour visit to see him
Any suggestions on how to make this crazy life of mine work and keep every one "satisfied" ? xoxo~Cupcake

Messy Me

Here we are another week gone by since we last chatted. Things are busy as normal for this mom of 2 active girls. Still trying to have a "normal" dating life as well. Mr. 7 and I are back in the swing of things and seem to have made it through another episode of "I don't see you enough". Whoever said that life would ever slow down surly got it messed up. Sometimes I revel in the game of trying to get everything done and still live a happy and full life. In the morning I commit to making that day a Great Day regardless of how much I have on my plate. Seems to be working.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill

Dating A Guy With No Kids

The crazy thing about dating a man with no kids is that he starts to acts like a child himself more than maybe your own kids. He want time. He wants to be held every night. He wants dinners and snacks. He wants to go to the park and occasionally to the playground (adult playground that is). Then when you can't spend time with him, he throws a fit. Gets cranky and probably needs to take a timeout. That is exactly what is happening with Mr.7. He is "frustrated" with me. He can't see me as much as he would like and he misses me. At this point, I'm not really sure how to fix this issue. I am letting it SIT. He hasn't called since yesterday. I emailed him about how much I care about him. No response. I guess I wait. You cant control other peoples feelings and emotions. What I do know is that he cares about me. Those feelings don't just go away. I can only hope that they are strong enough to bring him back my way.

Its a Bunch of Hullabaloo

Hullabaloo. Crazy, Stupid, Confusion. A loud noise or uproar.
That describes my current mental state at this time to a tee. Mr. 7decided last night, after I couldnt meet him for dinner he informed that he was going to dinner with a "persistent and respectful" girl. What the hell does that mean ?
Well, obviously, we are really gonna need to talk. No way does this girl play 2nd fiddle to anyone.
You would think at this time in my life that the men are date would no longer act like boys. Once again, I was proven wrong.

I Think Men Need Specific Instructions

One mistake that I continue to make over and over is to think that a man can understand what I'm saying. I mean they listen, (I think), But do they comprehend the words ? In order for a women's needs to be met as she wishes, its always going to be better just to say it. No matter how embarrassing, or blunt we must be. Men just aren't as good at reading between the lines as us women are.
So as I become more insistent on what is acceptable for me in a relationship and what is not I realize that I have to communicate in a way I have never done before. If I don't, guess what ? I get the same crap I have had in the past.
I've also become less acceptable to flaws that i could look past before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a Perfect person in every single area, but things that are important to me will not be overlooked. Sometimes that's hard. I may have a great connection but if my needs are not met and I feel incomplete in a certain area, then that relationship may not work for me anymore.
What it comes down to is this. My boy, (Mr. 7), is amazing, fun and easy on the eyes. But I have concerns with his reluctance to meet my family. Not because I'm trying to get him to walk me down the aisle. My reason for wanting him to meet my family, is because my 2 sisters are my best friends. I value their opinion. He knows some of my other girlfriends, why not them ?? Maybe he is nervous or scared. Don't know. Or maybe because he is an only child his value of family is different than mine. Whatever it is, I cant fix his issues on it. I can only worry about me and what will and won't be acceptable for me.

Sometimes the Questions Are Harder Than the Answers

Feeling like your heart is about to be ran over my a Semi, is not the way this girl likes to feel. Thankfully, myself and "the boy", (thinking of a name still), had a nice conversation and seem to be back on track. Its nice to have an adult conversation with someone you care about. Sometimes though, the questions seem to be harder than the answers. Let me explain.
The boy asks "how do you know when your clothes are dry?" What is he talking about ? My response, "the buzzer goes off". He agrees. "How do you know when its daytime ?" he asks. I say "the sun comes up". He shakes his head yes. Then the big one. "How do you know if your in love with someone ?" Hmmm? What ? Now I'm at a loss for words. I stutter. I stumble. I start biting my nails. My mind is spinning. It's quiet...... I'm thinking. Finally I say, I think you know your in love with someone "when you can't picture your life without them". "When you comfortable being yourself", and "When to do nothing would be absolutely amazing". I really felt like those where good signs, right ? Well, I always second guess myself. I decided that after I went I home I should Google this question just to make sure I didn't sound like a total idiot.
Amazingly to my surprise, my answers where all sign that would indicate your in love with someone. The funny part was that the other signs that were listed were things that "the boy" displays.
I found that quite hilarious.......I guess sometimes people asks questions just to confirm their own answers.
Oh, by the way, name for "the boy", "Mr.7"......Don't ask !

Can You Really Meet A Good Guy On A Blind Date ? Yes You Can.

My friend at work set me up with a longtime friend of her husbands. I thought, why not? No expectations. No history. If anything, a new friend. By the way, my sister did marry her husband through a blind date. So there is always a ray of hope.
Anyway, we went to dinner on a Thursday night (not ruining my weekend for this new guy who probably isn't worth a Saturday or Sunday date). Seemed nice. All 4 of us went to a bar/restaurant. Had good conversation. Nothing too amazing. Definetly not head over heels for him. But nice.
After dinner, went back to friends house. I told her I wasn't coming in. I wasn't really feelin the vibe with him.
Just went home. Didn't have much to go on, but he didn't ask for my number. That was wierd. But the next morning he emailed me. And we chatted back and forth and I soon realized that he was Hot for me. And too my shock, I was hot for him as well.
So, its been 4 weeks now and we have seen each other 3-4 times a week. He is learning about all my imperfections and breaking down the walls that only a few have been able to do in the past. Let's hope I can keep this one around. ;o}

Up to Speed

The way it ended with Music boy went a little something like "he ran off to Vegas and got hitched"... Really ? I know. Totally shocker. Was I that blind during the whole dating experience or what. Chalk it up to bad timing. Actually, I'm better without that one. He was too dull and boring for such a hyper chick like me. But why would he NOT want to be with me?? The only thing that got hurt in this relationship was my Ego, and I have 1 less friend on MySpace... Yes, he Deleted me.. Lame.

Is it okay to want "Closure" ?

Okay guys, I had to make the call. I called Music Boy. Yes, I did. I know probably stupid. But I need closure or something. Of course, he didn't answer. Left nice, pleasant message. Asked how he was and wanted to catch up. No irritation or annoyance in my voice. It only took me 3 times to record the message. Had to make sure it was okay. So we wait. The girlfriends said to call. If worse comes to worse I blame it on them.

Seriously, Just tell me if you stopped liking me, or if I kissed you wrong or if me being older than you is just way too intimidating and you want more kids and I don't and anything else to make me absolutely want to vomit at the sound of your voice.

I know I'm crazy and I should just move on, but I need to know that this is it. Done. No More. I promise to stop craving his kisses if he tells me I gross him out.
(Kissing is so Huge in my book, and we Kiss GREAT)....Just tell me something. Please.

It's Okay for Girls to Like Football

Its Sunday. Which means Football. At least a few months out of the year. Growing up in a home with 3 brothers and being a cheerleader for who knows how many years, I learned to love football. Don't get me wrong, when I was younger, I hated it. But as matured into a women, I realized that watching grown men in booty-hugging pants running across your TV screen isn't that bad. As I learned more about the game, I started to understand how it all worked. Fortunately for me, I have 3 close girlfriends that also love to partake in the football experience. So the 4 of us pick a sports bar on Sundays and go hang out. We have a few favorites, but as with anything, we like to change it up now and then to keep things spicy.

One thing I find particularly funny is how men look at the 4 of us and in amazement say "I don't know any girls who like football, why do you?" That's usually when I roll my eyes at them and say nothing. Do they think that only a man could understand this game ? Seriously ? Or is that suppose to be their pick-up line ? If so, I'm not buying it.

Anyway, I am going to watch football with the girls and one of my "boys". We will call him "Mr. Football" to keep his identity in the vault. He is a bit older than me, but super sweet. We have know each other for 7 years or more. We make-out now and then, but nothing serious. Why you ask ? Not sure. He travels a lot due to work. He played pro football in the past and I always assumed that he was a just that, a "Player". Never allowed myself to get emotionally attached to him. If he needs a date to a dinner or I need someone to escort me to a party, we call each other up. His only daughter knows my daughter and they know that we hang out once in awhile. Actually, if my daughter had it her way, I would be dating him. She thinks he's cool. Whatever.

It should be fun. I always love seeing my friends. And this will help get my mind off "Music Man". Just to let you know he still hasn't called or texted. How rude. This is hard to say, but I guess he's just not that into me.

Why O' Why ?

I think we need to get to the point here and i'm not exactly sure what that is, but its Saturday night, my kids are not home, and I have nothing to do. Why you ask ? I wish I knew. It's not like I didnt have an offer of a nice quiet dinner with this guy but it would take far to many cocktails for me to find him interesting. ! I can't risk being hungover for Sunday Football.

Maybe, I just can't pick the right man.....But I can't take all the blame. So, maybe they can't pick me. I know he's out there but what the hell? My girlfriends say that I am too good for any of the boys they know. Really ? Don't think so. Yes, I have self-confidence that shines the minute I walk through the door. My daughters guy friends say i'm "HOT". I think I am fun to be around. So where is he ? And why is it when I think this ones a keeper, it ends up being a false alarm.

Let's roll the tape back about 6 months. At a party, given by a good friend of mine. I looked cute, (just thrown that in). They had a great band playing that night. Usually, I say NO to bands. Not this time. Very energetic, fun, kept the party moving. Lead singer kinda sorta hot. Didn't think too much about it, because I saw he came with a girl. But I did notice they had zero chemistry together. Very BLAH ! He talked to me, but honestly not a big deal. Guys do flirt with me quite often, but I didn't think anything of his niceness toward me.
So, 2 days later, I emailed him a quick note. "Thanks for making the party a hit. Your band was great". That was it, I swear. And honestly, I really liked the band. I always send thank you cards and little notes when someone leaves an impression on me. That is just me. Unbeknown to me, He had inquired about me to my friend who threw the party. I told her he seemed nice, but he came with a girl and I don't do drama. Anyway, to make a long story short, the girl was a "friend", not a girlfriend. So we met that following week for a cocktail.

We started seeing each other maybe 1 to 2 times per week. He would call or text me when he was at his shows telling me that he was thinking about me, and couldn't wait to see me. All the things a girl wants to hear. I don't think we went a day without some contact with each other. He travels a lot and is really busy, but seemed to make time to let me know he was thinking about me.

Move forward to the last 30 days. I guess he is SUPER Busy, because I haven't heard from him in over a week.....Believe me, If I called, he would answer. This I know. But I decided about 30 days ago, that regardless of how busy a person is, you can make time to do something that is important to you and he needs to make more of an effort. At least tell that person you are missing them and can't wait to kiss her lips. For God sake, you are a musician, arnt you suppose to be creative and sensitive to this shit ?

Something. Give me something. I have never in my life wondered if a guy liked me. This is why I am so irritated by this one. Why doesn't he like me???? What happened??? And honestly, if it did work out between us, I would have to give up my closet full of high heels, pumps and stilettos, because he isn't that tall........WOW! I feel so much better saying that.

This isn't the only boy that is lingering on my mind, but right now he is the heaviest. Please tell me why ? Any sure fire ways to get over this one, send them my way.

So, Anyway.....
I always have lots to say and not everyone wants to be a good listener. So, why not blog ? It seems like the thing to do nowadays. Right ? Good. Glad we can all agree on that.
A bit about me. I am a mom of 2 great girls who despite the fact that I'm definitely not up for mother of the year award are turning out to be shining stars. You know as a parent you would say that anyway, but honestly they are. Oh, believe me, we have our moments. My oldest just turned 18 and need I say more. Yes, I was 12 when I had her. Just Kidding! Actually, I was 19. Raised her on my own. Put myself through nursing school. Then got married to her stepfather when she was almost 5. I had my second daughter 2 years later. She is 11 and just started middle school. I have been divorced for 4 years and fortunately my x-husband and I get along better now then we did when we were married. Kinda weird how that works out.

I'm not dating anyone seriously at this time. I have some "boys" (that's what they are), that I go out with on occasion. Nothing serious. I dated someone for almost 2 years after my divorce. Can you say rebound ? Now that wasn't very nice, but looking back, I can say that it was a way to get through the divorce and all the bad stuff that happens. Once the drama settled so did we. Anyway, he was 8 years younger than me. No children. And I am not the girl for you if you think that we need to "start a family"......No way! Besides the fact that my girls would have a fit, I am definitely not up for baby's.

I guess you could say that I am a true believer in fairytales. I want to be swept off my feet and treated like a princess. And in return my prince charming would be adored by me in every way possible.....