This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

~"Far Away" by Nickleback

Mommy Can't No Satisfaction

This whole being a single mom and trying to date and have a somewhat normal relationship with the male species has got to be one of the most difficult stunts to pull off. You have to spend "quality" time with your kids that's a given. Your man requires intimacy and time spent with you as well. It starts to become a conflict of schedules when your trying to accomplish everything and still maintain your sanity. Then something else comes into play, for me anyway. I've started to want more from Mr.7. physically (I think you know what I mean). That every other weekend and maybe once or twice during the week just isn't cutting it. Call me crazy, but I have no problem being a "booty-call" once in awhile. I know we care about each other, so I don't think of it in a bad way. I mean how many wife's do you know that give a "courtesy --" to their husbands once in awhile. I know way to many and the ones who don't surely arn't playing their cards right. I'm really struggling with this overwhelming desires to be with him more often. I'm contemplating excuses to get out of the house and take a hour visit to see him
Any suggestions on how to make this crazy life of mine work and keep every one "satisfied" ? xoxo~Cupcake

Can You Really Meet A Good Guy On A Blind Date ? Yes You Can.

My friend at work set me up with a longtime friend of her husbands. I thought, why not? No expectations. No history. If anything, a new friend. By the way, my sister did marry her husband through a blind date. So there is always a ray of hope.
Anyway, we went to dinner on a Thursday night (not ruining my weekend for this new guy who probably isn't worth a Saturday or Sunday date). Seemed nice. All 4 of us went to a bar/restaurant. Had good conversation. Nothing too amazing. Definetly not head over heels for him. But nice.
After dinner, went back to friends house. I told her I wasn't coming in. I wasn't really feelin the vibe with him.
Just went home. Didn't have much to go on, but he didn't ask for my number. That was wierd. But the next morning he emailed me. And we chatted back and forth and I soon realized that he was Hot for me. And too my shock, I was hot for him as well.
So, its been 4 weeks now and we have seen each other 3-4 times a week. He is learning about all my imperfections and breaking down the walls that only a few have been able to do in the past. Let's hope I can keep this one around. ;o}

Up to Speed

The way it ended with Music boy went a little something like "he ran off to Vegas and got hitched"... Really ? I know. Totally shocker. Was I that blind during the whole dating experience or what. Chalk it up to bad timing. Actually, I'm better without that one. He was too dull and boring for such a hyper chick like me. But why would he NOT want to be with me?? The only thing that got hurt in this relationship was my Ego, and I have 1 less friend on MySpace... Yes, he Deleted me.. Lame.

Is it okay to want "Closure" ?

Okay guys, I had to make the call. I called Music Boy. Yes, I did. I know probably stupid. But I need closure or something. Of course, he didn't answer. Left nice, pleasant message. Asked how he was and wanted to catch up. No irritation or annoyance in my voice. It only took me 3 times to record the message. Had to make sure it was okay. So we wait. The girlfriends said to call. If worse comes to worse I blame it on them.

Seriously, Just tell me if you stopped liking me, or if I kissed you wrong or if me being older than you is just way too intimidating and you want more kids and I don't and anything else to make me absolutely want to vomit at the sound of your voice.

I know I'm crazy and I should just move on, but I need to know that this is it. Done. No More. I promise to stop craving his kisses if he tells me I gross him out.
(Kissing is so Huge in my book, and we Kiss GREAT)....Just tell me something. Please.

It's Okay for Girls to Like Football

Its Sunday. Which means Football. At least a few months out of the year. Growing up in a home with 3 brothers and being a cheerleader for who knows how many years, I learned to love football. Don't get me wrong, when I was younger, I hated it. But as matured into a women, I realized that watching grown men in booty-hugging pants running across your TV screen isn't that bad. As I learned more about the game, I started to understand how it all worked. Fortunately for me, I have 3 close girlfriends that also love to partake in the football experience. So the 4 of us pick a sports bar on Sundays and go hang out. We have a few favorites, but as with anything, we like to change it up now and then to keep things spicy.

One thing I find particularly funny is how men look at the 4 of us and in amazement say "I don't know any girls who like football, why do you?" That's usually when I roll my eyes at them and say nothing. Do they think that only a man could understand this game ? Seriously ? Or is that suppose to be their pick-up line ? If so, I'm not buying it.

Anyway, I am going to watch football with the girls and one of my "boys". We will call him "Mr. Football" to keep his identity in the vault. He is a bit older than me, but super sweet. We have know each other for 7 years or more. We make-out now and then, but nothing serious. Why you ask ? Not sure. He travels a lot due to work. He played pro football in the past and I always assumed that he was a just that, a "Player". Never allowed myself to get emotionally attached to him. If he needs a date to a dinner or I need someone to escort me to a party, we call each other up. His only daughter knows my daughter and they know that we hang out once in awhile. Actually, if my daughter had it her way, I would be dating him. She thinks he's cool. Whatever.

It should be fun. I always love seeing my friends. And this will help get my mind off "Music Man". Just to let you know he still hasn't called or texted. How rude. This is hard to say, but I guess he's just not that into me.

Why O' Why ?

I think we need to get to the point here and i'm not exactly sure what that is, but its Saturday night, my kids are not home, and I have nothing to do. Why you ask ? I wish I knew. It's not like I didnt have an offer of a nice quiet dinner with this guy but it would take far to many cocktails for me to find him interesting. ! I can't risk being hungover for Sunday Football.

Maybe, I just can't pick the right man.....But I can't take all the blame. So, maybe they can't pick me. I know he's out there but what the hell? My girlfriends say that I am too good for any of the boys they know. Really ? Don't think so. Yes, I have self-confidence that shines the minute I walk through the door. My daughters guy friends say i'm "HOT". I think I am fun to be around. So where is he ? And why is it when I think this ones a keeper, it ends up being a false alarm.

Let's roll the tape back about 6 months. At a party, given by a good friend of mine. I looked cute, (just thrown that in). They had a great band playing that night. Usually, I say NO to bands. Not this time. Very energetic, fun, kept the party moving. Lead singer kinda sorta hot. Didn't think too much about it, because I saw he came with a girl. But I did notice they had zero chemistry together. Very BLAH ! He talked to me, but honestly not a big deal. Guys do flirt with me quite often, but I didn't think anything of his niceness toward me.
So, 2 days later, I emailed him a quick note. "Thanks for making the party a hit. Your band was great". That was it, I swear. And honestly, I really liked the band. I always send thank you cards and little notes when someone leaves an impression on me. That is just me. Unbeknown to me, He had inquired about me to my friend who threw the party. I told her he seemed nice, but he came with a girl and I don't do drama. Anyway, to make a long story short, the girl was a "friend", not a girlfriend. So we met that following week for a cocktail.

We started seeing each other maybe 1 to 2 times per week. He would call or text me when he was at his shows telling me that he was thinking about me, and couldn't wait to see me. All the things a girl wants to hear. I don't think we went a day without some contact with each other. He travels a lot and is really busy, but seemed to make time to let me know he was thinking about me.

Move forward to the last 30 days. I guess he is SUPER Busy, because I haven't heard from him in over a week.....Believe me, If I called, he would answer. This I know. But I decided about 30 days ago, that regardless of how busy a person is, you can make time to do something that is important to you and he needs to make more of an effort. At least tell that person you are missing them and can't wait to kiss her lips. For God sake, you are a musician, arnt you suppose to be creative and sensitive to this shit ?

Something. Give me something. I have never in my life wondered if a guy liked me. This is why I am so irritated by this one. Why doesn't he like me???? What happened??? And honestly, if it did work out between us, I would have to give up my closet full of high heels, pumps and stilettos, because he isn't that tall........WOW! I feel so much better saying that.

This isn't the only boy that is lingering on my mind, but right now he is the heaviest. Please tell me why ? Any sure fire ways to get over this one, send them my way.