Sunday, September 13, 2009

Crossroads

At some point in your life you have to take full responsibility for the relationships that you have with others. We cannot expect people to be the source of our happiness. If you want something, ask. If your unhappy in a situation, change it. Don't let frustration or anger build up inside because your needs are not being met. Unfortunately, there are times that you have to step away from something good because you now that the ultimate result is less than what you desire or deserve. Its like putting water instead of gas in your car and expecting it to run. You intentions are good, but it will never work.
With that being said, I finally put it all out there with Mr.7. I think that after 7 months we should know where we are going. I don't want to be a serial dater. I want a commitment. A man that adores me. A man that is completely honest and open with his feelings about me. My feelings for him are becoming too strong to let things go the way that they are. He is amazing and great too me when we are together, but apart I have no idea where or what he is doing. I don't need to know it all. I'm not a jealous person. But am I the one he wants to be with ? I don't know. He doesn't tell me his plans, wishes or desires. That doesn't work for me. I deserve to be in a relationship where both people are mutually invested. I want it all and it should be simple and easy. No fighting. No conflict. No drama.
I gave him a letter that was very clear in what I wanted. I let him know that if I'm not the one, that is okay as well. I know its out there for me, and I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve. So I wait. I let him ponder, read and maybe even re-read. We will see.
XOXO

You Deserve The Best

"Living with integrity means: not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it may cause conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe"
~Barbara De Angelis

"Happy" by Leona Lewis

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You cant have everything

Dont you take chances
You might feel the pain
Dont you love in vain
cause love wont set you free

I cant stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
just cant let go
just trying to play my role
slowly disappear

But all these days
They feel like theyre theyre same
Just different faces
different place
Get me out of here

I cant stand by the side
Ooh, no
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
my feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
dont care about all the pain in front of me
Im just trying to be happy

Oh, happy
Oh

So when it turns that I can see???
This rope??
Victim??
Dont say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge?
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy
Happy
I just wanna be
Oh
I just wanna be
Happy.