Sunday, January 25, 2009

Its Okay to Stay Home On Saturday Nite.

Last night was the first Saturday night in a very long time that I had not gone out with friends or had some sort of activity to attend. I had to restrain myself at one point when my girlfriends wanted to go out to a Karaoke bar. I said "no".
Actually, it was very nice to chill out at home. I played Wii with my daughter. Read a little. Baked cheescake cupcakes. (So Yummy). I think I can get use to this.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sometimes We Should Just Shut-Up.

Really, the whole I need closure bullshit, was just that. Of course that phone call didn't pan out. Yea, he called eventually, but just talked alot of crap. Oh, he is "busy", and "blah, blah, blah". It actually made me think twice if this is the kind of boy I would want to hang out with. I KNOW that I deserve more and it became very obvious that he couldn't meet those expectations. I am going to do my very best to avoid any second guessing myself about this one. There has to be a real MAN out there for me. Sometimes we just need to shut-up and realize that we are amazing and fabulous. There is someone that will appreciate us and never have us wondering where we stand.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Is it okay to want "Closure" ?

Okay guys, I had to make the call. I called Music Boy. Yes, I did. I know probably stupid. But I need closure or something. Of course, he didn't answer. Left nice, pleasant message. Asked how he was and wanted to catch up. No irritation or annoyance in my voice. It only took me 3 times to record the message. Had to make sure it was okay. So we wait. The girlfriends said to call. If worse comes to worse I blame it on them.

Seriously, Just tell me if you stopped liking me, or if I kissed you wrong or if me being older than you is just way too intimidating and you want more kids and I don't and anything else to make me absolutely want to vomit at the sound of your voice.

I know I'm crazy and I should just move on, but I need to know that this is it. Done. No More. I promise to stop craving his kisses if he tells me I gross him out.
(Kissing is so Huge in my book, and we Kiss GREAT)....Just tell me something. Please.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

It's Okay for Girls to Like Football

Its Sunday. Which means Football. At least a few months out of the year. Growing up in a home with 3 brothers and being a cheerleader for who knows how many years, I learned to love football. Don't get me wrong, when I was younger, I hated it. But as matured into a women, I realized that watching grown men in booty-hugging pants running across your TV screen isn't that bad. As I learned more about the game, I started to understand how it all worked. Fortunately for me, I have 3 close girlfriends that also love to partake in the football experience. So the 4 of us pick a sports bar on Sundays and go hang out. We have a few favorites, but as with anything, we like to change it up now and then to keep things spicy.

One thing I find particularly funny is how men look at the 4 of us and in amazement say "I don't know any girls who like football, why do you?" That's usually when I roll my eyes at them and say nothing. Do they think that only a man could understand this game ? Seriously ? Or is that suppose to be their pick-up line ? If so, I'm not buying it.

Anyway, I am going to watch football with the girls and one of my "boys". We will call him "Mr. Football" to keep his identity in the vault. He is a bit older than me, but super sweet. We have know each other for 7 years or more. We make-out now and then, but nothing serious. Why you ask ? Not sure. He travels a lot due to work. He played pro football in the past and I always assumed that he was a just that, a "Player". Never allowed myself to get emotionally attached to him. If he needs a date to a dinner or I need someone to escort me to a party, we call each other up. His only daughter knows my daughter and they know that we hang out once in awhile. Actually, if my daughter had it her way, I would be dating him. She thinks he's cool. Whatever.

It should be fun. I always love seeing my friends. And this will help get my mind off "Music Man". Just to let you know he still hasn't called or texted. How rude. This is hard to say, but I guess he's just not that into me.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Why O' Why ?

I think we need to get to the point here and i'm not exactly sure what that is, but its Saturday night, my kids are not home, and I have nothing to do. Why you ask ? I wish I knew. It's not like I didnt have an offer of a nice quiet dinner with this guy but it would take far to many cocktails for me to find him interesting. ! I can't risk being hungover for Sunday Football.

Maybe, I just can't pick the right man.....But I can't take all the blame. So, maybe they can't pick me. I know he's out there but what the hell? My girlfriends say that I am too good for any of the boys they know. Really ? Don't think so. Yes, I have self-confidence that shines the minute I walk through the door. My daughters guy friends say i'm "HOT". I think I am fun to be around. So where is he ? And why is it when I think this ones a keeper, it ends up being a false alarm.

Let's roll the tape back about 6 months. At a party, given by a good friend of mine. I looked cute, (just thrown that in). They had a great band playing that night. Usually, I say NO to bands. Not this time. Very energetic, fun, kept the party moving. Lead singer kinda sorta hot. Didn't think too much about it, because I saw he came with a girl. But I did notice they had zero chemistry together. Very BLAH ! He talked to me, but honestly not a big deal. Guys do flirt with me quite often, but I didn't think anything of his niceness toward me.
So, 2 days later, I emailed him a quick note. "Thanks for making the party a hit. Your band was great". That was it, I swear. And honestly, I really liked the band. I always send thank you cards and little notes when someone leaves an impression on me. That is just me. Unbeknown to me, He had inquired about me to my friend who threw the party. I told her he seemed nice, but he came with a girl and I don't do drama. Anyway, to make a long story short, the girl was a "friend", not a girlfriend. So we met that following week for a cocktail.

We started seeing each other maybe 1 to 2 times per week. He would call or text me when he was at his shows telling me that he was thinking about me, and couldn't wait to see me. All the things a girl wants to hear. I don't think we went a day without some contact with each other. He travels a lot and is really busy, but seemed to make time to let me know he was thinking about me.

Move forward to the last 30 days. I guess he is SUPER Busy, because I haven't heard from him in over a week.....Believe me, If I called, he would answer. This I know. But I decided about 30 days ago, that regardless of how busy a person is, you can make time to do something that is important to you and he needs to make more of an effort. At least tell that person you are missing them and can't wait to kiss her lips. For God sake, you are a musician, arnt you suppose to be creative and sensitive to this shit ?

Something. Give me something. I have never in my life wondered if a guy liked me. This is why I am so irritated by this one. Why doesn't he like me???? What happened??? And honestly, if it did work out between us, I would have to give up my closet full of high heels, pumps and stilettos, because he isn't that tall........WOW! I feel so much better saying that.

This isn't the only boy that is lingering on my mind, but right now he is the heaviest. Please tell me why ? Any sure fire ways to get over this one, send them my way.
So, Anyway.....
I always have lots to say and not everyone wants to be a good listener. So, why not blog ? It seems like the thing to do nowadays. Right ? Good. Glad we can all agree on that.
A bit about me. I am a mom of 2 great girls who despite the fact that I'm definitely not up for mother of the year award are turning out to be shining stars. You know as a parent you would say that anyway, but honestly they are. Oh, believe me, we have our moments. My oldest just turned 18 and need I say more. Yes, I was 12 when I had her. Just Kidding! Actually, I was 19. Raised her on my own. Put myself through nursing school. Then got married to her stepfather when she was almost 5. I had my second daughter 2 years later. She is 11 and just started middle school. I have been divorced for 4 years and fortunately my x-husband and I get along better now then we did when we were married. Kinda weird how that works out.

I'm not dating anyone seriously at this time. I have some "boys" (that's what they are), that I go out with on occasion. Nothing serious. I dated someone for almost 2 years after my divorce. Can you say rebound ? Now that wasn't very nice, but looking back, I can say that it was a way to get through the divorce and all the bad stuff that happens. Once the drama settled so did we. Anyway, he was 8 years younger than me. No children. And I am not the girl for you if you think that we need to "start a family"......No way! Besides the fact that my girls would have a fit, I am definitely not up for baby's.

I guess you could say that I am a true believer in fairytales. I want to be swept off my feet and treated like a princess. And in return my prince charming would be adored by me in every way possible.....